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by Brigitte Meier
Several similar terms describe the central attribute of a character that decides on the strength of personality and the degree of inner freedom:
- "self assurance" describes mostly the behaviour. Counterparts are insecure behaviour or shyness.
- "self confidence" is the mental and emotional state that causes the outer appearance.
- "charisma" is the effect that those have on others.
Self confidence doesn't mean being perfect or presenting oneself in a perfect way, but realizing and accepting own strengths and weaknesses, using strengths to reach aims and considering weaknesses as challenges, not insurmountable limits.
It can be observed that some children are by nature more actively exploring their environment than others. So possibly self confidence has a genetic foundation.
Still, all experiences that include social interaction, with parents, relatives, friends and classmates, influence the development of self esteem. Appreciation has a positive, rejection a negative effect. But unfortunately, it's not that easy.
False or fake appreciation can often be observed with parents and relatives. For example the adoration of even the smallest output of infant creativity, like crude drawings, and other approvals of a child's intelligence and appearance can lead to a situation of over-confidence. Undeserved rejection, on the other hand, like punishing or disregarding a child out of an own bad mood, will confuse it and create insecurity.
Over-confidence, or the belief in own abilities and performance that are not real, can lead to arrogance. This can either turn into insecurity, if the person later realizes the truth, or it turns into an inconsiderate behaviour, which also isn't making life easier. Insecurity or shyness are very common burdens and they tend to create a lot of problems. Aside from lacking social and personal success, the constant fear of the own inferiority creates barriers that are hard to overcome.
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by A Dude's Guide on Jul 1st
I’m not just talking about a seminal punk-ish band. No, I’m using that as a pun so I can talk about blowin’ stuff up. What can I say? I’m a dude. We like to blow stuff up. It’s in our genes.
Which might go a long way toward explaining why it’s on the list of top holidays for my three little dudes. Just yesterday, Speed Racer was perusing the newspaper (searching for the comics. I can’t get him interested in the actual news of a newspaper. Yet.) when he ran across a story about fireworks being sold and sold a lot. He was, to say the least, a bit excited.
“Can we go there? To this place? They’ve got two for one. We can get a lot of fireworks. Can we go today? Right now?”
I had to calm him down a little. For one thing, it’s difficult to talk to someone when they’re clawing into the ceiling and running about like a hyperactive spider. For another, I knew I’d have to wait for his brother, Sarcasmo, to get home from his leadership camp. It would not be good if we were to go buy fireworks and leave Sarcasmo behind. I’d never hear the end of it.
Still, this is an event to which we all look forward. Me because it’s fun to watch all three little dudes pick out stuff to blow up. Them because, well, they’re picking out stuff to blow up.
Our favorites are mortars. Just because we love the thump as they launch and they really do look fantastic when they explode all the way up there in the air.
– Richard
Tags: A Dude's Guide to Life, Actual News, Blow, Boomtown Rats, Brother, buy, camp, comics, dude, Dude's, fireworks, Genes, Holidays, leadership, Leadership Camp, little dude, little dudes, love, Mortars, Pun, Punk, richard, sarcasm, Sarcasmo, Speed Racer, Thump
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A Dude's Guide is a supposed to be a funny and insightful look into what it takes for a Dude to be a better person. We are not saying that we are exceptional, insightful or funny people; but we try. We will use our experiences and adventures and misadventures to try to help other Dude's learn and contribute to this blog. Subscribe to A Dude's Guide blog for fatherhood advice and topics from Daddy Dudes!
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