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As part of The Dads Network, CentralValleyDads.com is a free community for dads in Fresno, Kings and Tulare Counties. We realize that all dads need local support -- and who can't use another friend? CentralValleyDads.com offers a simple way to connect with local dads for friendship, support and fun. Members meet on our private discussion forums to share information on everything from where to get the best haircut to tips on transitioning to a "big kid" bed. Each month, we also offer many face-to-face events for our members, their children and their families. Register today to access our discussion forums, events calendar and more! It's free and we'll keep your info secure and private.

Building Your Parenting Self Confidence
by Brigitte Meier

Several similar terms describe the central attribute of a character that decides on the strength of personality and the degree of inner freedom:

- "self assurance" describes mostly the behaviour. Counterparts are insecure behaviour or shyness.

- "self confidence" is the mental and emotional state that causes the outer appearance.

- "charisma" is the effect that those have on others.

Self confidence doesn't mean being perfect or presenting oneself in a perfect way, but realizing and accepting own strengths and weaknesses, using strengths to reach aims and considering weaknesses as challenges, not insurmountable limits.

It can be observed that some children are by nature more actively exploring their environment than others. So possibly self confidence has a genetic foundation.

Still, all experiences that include social interaction, with parents, relatives, friends and classmates, influence the development of self esteem. Appreciation has a positive, rejection a negative effect. But unfortunately, it's not that easy.

False or fake appreciation can often be observed with parents and relatives. For example the adoration of even the smallest output of infant creativity, like crude drawings, and other approvals of a child's intelligence and appearance can lead to a situation of over-confidence. Undeserved rejection, on the other hand, like punishing or disregarding a child out of an own bad mood, will confuse it and create insecurity.

Over-confidence, or the belief in own abilities and performance that are not real, can lead to arrogance. This can either turn into insecurity, if the person later realizes the truth, or it turns into an inconsiderate behaviour, which also isn't making life easier. Insecurity or shyness are very common burdens and they tend to create a lot of problems. Aside from lacking social and personal success, the constant fear of the own inferiority creates barriers that are hard to overcome.

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Boomtown Rats
by A Dude's Guide on Jul 1st

I’m not just talking about a seminal punk-ish band. No, I’m using that as a pun so I can talk about blowin’ stuff up. What can I say? I’m a dude. We like to blow stuff up. It’s in our genes.

Which might go a long way toward explaining why it’s on the list of top holidays for my three little dudes. Just yesterday, Speed Racer was perusing the newspaper (searching for the comics. I can’t get him interested in the actual news of a newspaper. Yet.) when he ran across a story about fireworks being sold and sold a lot. He was, to say the least, a bit excited.

“Can we go there? To this place? They’ve got two for one. We can get a lot of fireworks. Can we go today? Right now?”

I had to calm him down a little. For one thing, it’s difficult to talk to someone when they’re clawing into the ceiling and running about like a hyperactive spider. For another, I knew I’d have to wait for his brother, Sarcasmo, to get home from his leadership camp. It would not be good if we were to go buy fireworks and leave Sarcasmo behind. I’d never hear the end of it.

Still, this is an event to which we all look forward. Me because it’s fun to watch all three little dudes pick out stuff to blow up. Them because, well, they’re picking out stuff to blow up.

Our favorites are mortars. Just because we love the thump as they launch and they really do look fantastic when they explode all the way up there in the air.

– Richard

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A Dude's Guide is a supposed to be a funny and insightful look into what it takes for a Dude to be a better person. We are not saying that we are exceptional, insightful or funny people; but we try. We will use our experiences and adventures and misadventures to try to help other Dude's learn and contribute to this blog. Subscribe to A Dude's Guide blog for fatherhood advice and topics from Daddy Dudes!



Top News Headlines from CNN

Lone survivor of 1971 crash fell 2 miles
A Lockheed Electra turboprop flying over the Amazon rainforest on Christmas Eve in 1971 broke into pieces in midair, thrusting 17-year-old Juliane Koepcke into a free fall. She dropped 2 miles into the jungle canopy but survived with only minor injuries; the 91 other people on board died. With search crews unable to locate the site, her ordeal was far from over.

Thursday Jul 2nd, 3:43 PM

Attacks, arrests slowing online news from Iran
Bloody attacks and midnight arrests, combined with a regime growing more tech savvy, have begun to stem the online information flow from dissidents in Iran, activists and human rights officials say. Once emboldened by an ability to dodge the government and spread news, many in the youth-driven protest movement, they say, now fear the consequences.

Thursday Jul 2nd, 2:27 PM

Rowe may seek custody of Jackson kids
Michael Jackson appeared active in a video -- obtained by CNN -- of his rehearsal two nights before he died. AEG, promoter of Jackson's planned London shows, released the short video of Jackson rehearsing "They Don't Care About Us" on a stage in the Staples Center arena on June 23.

Thursday Jul 2nd, 3:49 PM

Diprivan not approved for sleep disorders
Diprivan is a powerful I.V. anesthetic drug used for patients undergoing certain surgeries and diagnostic procedures.

Thursday Jul 2nd, 11:45 AM

Ex-VP accuses insurer of 'purging' customers
Wendell Potter says he is finished defending the insurance industry, which he says is "beholden to Wall Street."

Thursday Jul 2nd, 7:26 AM


News from Ars Technica

"MySpace mom" Lori Drew's conviction thrown out
"MySpace mom" Lori Drew has had her misdemeanor guilty verdict overturned by the federal judge handling the case, the LA Times reports. Violating a website's terms of use is not, it seems, a federal crime after all. Horrible things aren't always crimes The guilty verdict against Lori Drew, prosecutors crowed, would send an "overwhelming message" to online bullies. Though she escaped conviction on felony charges, the 49-year-old Missouri mom could have still faced three years in prison or fines of up to $300,000 for launching an online harassment campaign that ended in the suicide of a teenage neighbor. Drew was due to be sentenced today.But the "message," legal observers worried, may be that anyone who uses a website without paying close attention to those ubiquitous Terms of Service risks committing a federal crime. The judge shared those concerns. Click here to read the rest of this article
Thursday Jul 2nd, 1:31 PM

Windows 7 Home Premium to get Family Pack deal
One of the recently leaked builds of Windows 7 has more juice in it than just a new default wallpaper. In the Windows 7 Home Premium edition—as noticed by Kristan Kenney—, the Microsoft Software License Terms has an additional clause that mentions a Family Pack licensing plan that would cover up to three computers in a household. This is no accident: other editions like Professional and Ultimate do not contain the Family Pack wording. Here's the whole clause: Click here to read the rest of this article
Thursday Jul 2nd, 11:48 AM

Behavioral advertisers discover the self-regulation gospel
Behavioral advertising, in which users are fed ads based on the interests revealed by their Web browsing habits, has an obvious appeal to advertisers, as it will ostensibly allow them to serve ads to the most relevant audiences. It also raises a host of privacy concerns—to work effectively, the Web surfing histories of consumers have to be aggregated and analyzed by those providing the ads. Both the Federal Trade Commission and Congress have asked questions about whether advertisers were doing enough to protect and inform consumers, raising the prospect that regulation of behavioral advertising was only a matter of time. In an attempt to head off the government, a coalition of advertising groups that includes Google has now issued a series of principles that will guide their self-regulation. The industry didn't need to look far to see the downsides of a failure to respond to public concerns. One of the more aggressive approaches to behavioral advertising, the deep packet inspection used by NebuAd, saw the company's CEO dragged before Congress, and the resulting bad publicity turned the company into a pariah. It ultimately closed its doors last month. Click here to read the rest of this article
Thursday Jul 2nd, 10:13 AM

Assaulted by someone you met online? Don't sue the website
Social networks like MySpace still cannot be held responsible for assaults that happen offline, according to California's Second District Court of Appeal in Los Angeles. The court was asked to review the case of four underage girls (referred to as Julie Does) who, along with their parents, had sued MySpace for gross negligence and strict product liability after they were all sexually assaulted by older men whom they met on the service. Despite the scary circumstances in which these events took place, the judge said that MySpace was protected under Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act and could not be held liable. Click here to read the rest of this article
Thursday Jul 2nd, 8:44 AM

Universal to bring Asteroids to theaters
Once again, news has arrived from the land of Hollywood that another major video game franchise is being adapted for the silver screen. Last week, it was announced that Uncharted would get a celluloid makeover; this week, it's a much older franchise that's being adapted. It turns out that Asteroids, the Atari game from 1979 (thus making it older than many in the current generation of gamers) will be coming to theaters sometime in the future. Astonishingly, not only is Asteroids being made into a movie, but there was an actual bidding war between four major studios for the rights. Universal Studios has emerged the winner.As a result, Matthew Lopez is set to write the script and it will be produced by Lorenzo di Bonaventura. Lopez has written the screenplays for the recent Disney films Escape to Witch Mountain and Bedtime Stories, as well as for the upcoming The Sorcerer's Apprentice. Meanwhile, di Bonaventura's latest ventures include Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and the soon-to-be-released G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. While there are some big Hollywood players involved with this project, the inherent problem with making a movie out of Asteroids is that it doesn't have a plot, or characters, just a triangular spaceship blowing up some oddly-shaped polygons. On the other hand, one could look at this with the perspective that it's pretty much impossible to screw up the game's story. However, this news implies something much larger and much more unsettling: Hollywood may officially be out of original movie ideas.
Thursday Jul 2nd, 7:51 AM

 
Sports from USA Today

Kim upstages host Tiger with round of 62 at AT&T National
Anthony Kim has set the course record at Congressional with an 8-under 62, giving the defending champion a two-shot lead in the ...
Thursday Jul 2nd, 2:59 PM

Returning from suspension, L.A. love fest awaits Ramirez
Friday, when the Dodgers open a three-game series in San Diego, Manny Ramirez is scheduled to return to the team after serving ...
Thursday Jul 2nd, 1:14 PM

Thrashers sign ex-Rangers forward Antropov to four-year deal
The Atlanta Thrashers signed free agent forward Nik Antropov to a four-year, $16 million contract on Thursday, setting up a ...
Thursday Jul 2nd, 3:41 PM

Un-bee-lievable: Bee swarm delays Astros' 7-2 win
The Houston Astros beat the San Diego Padres 7-2 on Thursday, but only after waiting out a 52-minute delay in the top of the ...
Thursday Jul 2nd, 3:48 PM

NFL suspends Jets' Calvin Pace 4 games for violating PED policy
The NFL has suspended Jets linebacker Calvin Pace for four games without pay for violating the league's policy on performance-enhancing ...
Thursday Jul 2nd, 2:37 PM


Working Parents from BusinessWeek

Elder Care and the Generational Squeeze: High-Stress?and Welcome

Call it the generational vise: canceling Father?s Day with my fast-declining 93-year-old dad because my 11-year-old came down with the flu. Stressful, definitely. Heart-wrenching, yes. Welcome? Of course. Despite all the juggling and hard choices that have to be made about competing demands for care, I?d rather be stuck in this vise than face the void of the alternative.


Thursday Jul 2nd, 11:45 AM

Our Kids Keep Getting Fatter. What to Do?

More grim news on the obesity front. An annual survey of obesity in America found that adult obesity rates increased in 23 states last year, and did not fall in a single state. Adult obesity now exceeds 25% in 31 states, and two-thirds of adults are considered overweight or obese. Worst of all, the survey also looked at children age 10-17 and found that 30% or higher are overweight or obese in 30 states. 30 states! The rate of obesity in US children has more than tripled since 1980.


Wednesday Jul 1st, 1:49 PM

How Would You Ration Health Care?

As the debate over health care reform heats up in Washington, the rhetoric around health care rationing grows more vitriolic. Conservative commentators, such as those writing op-eds for the Wall Street Journal, paint a frightening picture of the world under "Obama-Care," a world where we would all stand in long lines to get whatever care the state deems reasonable. At the other extreme are the advocates for a massive healthcare overhaul who insist that a single-payer system would end the waste and inefficiencies now rife in our present system, leaving more than enough money to provide optimal care to all the people, all the time.


Tuesday Jun 30th, 3:12 AM

Perfect Babysitter? When Granny is the Nanny

Do you wish your parents would help with babysitting, financial support or even picking up your dry cleaning?


Monday Jun 29th, 2:04 PM

Why Working Mothers Face a Pay Gap

When the subject of motherhood is combined with work, the conversation can get nasty and divisive as evidenced by the comments to my recent post The Motherhood Penalty: Working Moms Face Pay Gap Vs. Childless Peers.


Friday Jun 26th, 11:30 AM


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